The Script & How to Rewrite it

I would like to get a little deep in this article. It’ll be a little different to how I normally lay them out, maybe a bit more informal, perhaps at times ranty (sorry!). But if there’s something here that you can relate to, or some help you can derive from it, then I hope it can shine some light or some perspective on where you currently are, WHO you are, and what we can all do next.

So here we go – myself and my husband, we both feel quite oppressed. We feel quite trapped in the lives we’ve consciously created, but almost don’t feel necessarily like we’ve consciously chosen… so what I mean in this example is perhaps the way we’re living, how we’re raising our kids, our choices etc. But see these choices like, having a job, having a house and sending our kids to school, they all feel like they’ve been normalised, but they’re not necessarily “normal” because something deep inside doesn’t feel, right? Like maybe there’s another way. We live paycheck to paycheck now (like most people do), we buy our food, we have a roof over our head, we ARE very lucky, and we’re so grateful for what we have and where we live and all of those things, we really are, but there just seems to be this, thing (we’ll call it haha), loitering in the backs of our subconscious minds, maybe whispering that we can do more with our lives, we can maybe travel, take our kids out of school, live on a farm and raise animals, grow our own food, FEEL differently… you know?

I think I long for simplicity in a world of chaos. It’s so over stimulating. But see, we don’t have a savings account with thousands in, we don’t own a home with loads of capital in it, we don’t have rich families that can help us change our lives or relatives that have acres of land we can use, we live month to month, and that’s where we feel trapped! Trapped in this oppressive system that just seems to breed workers and encourage consumerism and feed off of your suffering! We have to “stay in line”, and obey, gosh forbid we think differently, you’re labelled as a conspiracy theorist or a hippy or strange or whatever category people feel the need to put you in; that society feels the need to put you in! So basically, we just didn’t know where to start, what questions we needed to be asking ourselves, what to work towards, we don’t really know what we want. We just know that what we’re doing now, it doesn’t feel, right, it doesn’t feel, whole.

So let’s go mega deep. Because what we’re experiencing isn’t just discomfort, I’ve actually realised, it’s awakening. And it’s not a sign that something is wrong with us, but a sign that something may not be aligned between our values and our reality. I know also that many others are feeling a similar pull toward a different way of living, so the journey that myself and my husband have been on, from the above example, as it’s unfolded I’ve gathered information from various places, met many people and gathered certain questions that it’s been important to ask ourselves both individually and together, and I’m hoping I can help anyone else whom may feel oppressed in some way, to ask yourself the right questions and instil hope that no matter where you are and what you have, just start there, and that’s enough. So let’s go.

First, a Truth to Ground Us

It’s okay to question the script. Most of us grow up internalising a model:
nGo to school → Get a job → Have kids → Work hard → Retire (maybe) → Then rest (maybe).
nBut see that script was never written for us as individuals. It was written for society to function a certain way. It rewards compliance, productivity, consumption, not necessarily fulfilment, depth, or connection to the earth, our families, and most importantly, to ourselves.

So that whisper, the “thing” loitering in the background I mentioned, that’s not delusion. I believe that’s MY personal truth starting to stir. I can no longer be bound by this conditioned ‘model’ that I’ve witnessed growing up.

So Let’s Start by Asking the Right Questions

It’s ok to not know what you want right now. Sometimes knowing what you don’t want is the first step. But to start finding clarity, I think we have to try journaling first, or talking through some of these deeper questions alone or with people we trust. So some of the best questions I’ve thought of or come across, for myself and my husband, and I think can help us all where ever we are, look like this:

1. What does “freedom” look and feel like for me/us?
nIs it financial independence?
nIs it waking up without an alarm clock?
nIs it homeschooling our kids while living in a van?
nIs it having a garden and chickens and peace?

2. What do we want our days to feel like?
nCalm? Purposeful? Adventurous? Slow? Rich in connection?
nWhat kinds of moments do I/we want to have more of?

3. What are our core values?
nCommunity, nature, autonomy, creativity, sustainability?
nOften, people feel “off” when their life doesn’t align with their values.

4. What are we willing to give up? What aren’t we?
nAre you willing to downsize? Leave your current town?
nLive with fewer possessions? Leave traditional school/education systems?

5. What are we afraid of?
nIs it failure? Judgment? Financial instability?
nBringing those fears into the light helps to recognise and tame them.

6. What kind of life would we live if we had no fear, no limitations?
nThis question has always been powerful not because it’s immediately practical, but because it can shine a light on the direction our hearts are pointing.

Small Steps to Reclaim Autonomy

You don’t need to blow up your life tomorrow. You need momentum no matter your situation. These are not radical, they’re radically grounded, which is what we need when we feel like we have to change everything all at once:

Start Building a Vision (even if it’s fuzzy)
nCreate an individual/shared vision board (physical or digital) of images, words, places, and vibes that speak to your soul. Not for Pinterest. For you. Let it evolve. This is your compass.

Start Financially Micro-Freeing Yourself
nStart a “Freedom Fund” – not a savings account for a holiday or emergencies, but for change. Even £10 a week. It’s symbolic and practical. I’ve called mine, “Divine Destiny”.
nCan you sell some belongings? Downsize a subscription? Trade services?

Begin the “Exit Map”
nWhat are 3 paths you’re curious about?
nHomeschool?
nMoving to a rural community?
nStarting a small business or skill-based trade?
nWhatever your curiosity, don’t pick one yet. Just explore and research them slowly.

Start Connecting With Others Who’ve Walked Different Paths
nSeek stories of those who’ve exited the rat race. So in my case personally it could be off-grid communities, slow living blogs, homeschoolers, nomadic families, that kind of thing. What is this for you? Cooking blogs? Learning to grow your own? Backpackers? Rockclimbers? Beekeeping? Sewing? Starting your own club?
nAnd not to copy them, but to prove it’s possible. Put yourself in the way of “different”.

Begin “Deprogramming” From the System
nReduce exposure to the things that reinforce the “normal” you’re trying to question, so constant advertising, mainstream media, social pressures.
nReplace with nourishing inputs: books, podcasts, conversations.
nTaking social media apps off of my phone has given me back so much time, it’s ridiculous.

You Might Not Need to Burn It All Down
nYou’re allowed to hold onto some parts of your current life while still creating something new. Maybe it’s not either/or. Maybe it’s a transition. And a slow one, and that’s Ok. The system doesn’t want you to feel like you have options. But you do.

Some Journaling Prompts

If like me you love a bit of reflective work, here’s a little three-part journaling prompt for you that I have used, and my friends have too, it really helps:

“If I wasn’t afraid, I would…”

“The life I secretly dream of looks like…”

“One small thing I could do this month to start that journey is…”

You’re not broken. The world just isn’t set up for human thriving in the way we sense we could live. Our resistance isn’t a flaw, it’s a compass. And maybe our role in this world is to be one of the people who dares to reimagine how it could be. For ourselves. For our kids. For others who need to see that it’s possible. You don’t need a five-year plan. You just need to follow the thread.

The conditioning runs so deep! Honestly I feel like so many of us live our lives on autopilot, never daring to ask, what is it that I actually want? It doesn’t have to be radical, we can still live our lives now, just as they are and that’s perfect. I don’t want to get to 60 years old and STILL feel as though I’m chasing a version of myself or a life that I never could quite reach. I really want to hone into what I have now, who I have now, who I am now and what’s already around me. That’s so important, but we can still be working towards something.

Experimental Lifestyle Paths

These are not fixed roadmaps. These are containers, possible “shapes” that our lives could take that align with the longings we might have: simplicity, connection, family, groundedness, and freedom from a system that doesn’t feel made for you. Each one includes the core values it speaks to, starter steps and the “shadow work” (the inner stuff you may need to confront along the way). You can treat them like doors. Try one, step in, see how it feels. Mix and match. So I’ll go here with some examples:

The Slow Homestead Life
nCore values: Simplicity, nature, self-sufficiency, family rhythm
nStarter Steps: Rent a weekend or week at a rural farm stay (Airbnb, WWOOF, Workaway, Hipcamp). See how the pace feels. Start growing herbs or salad greens at home. Begin composting. Tiny actions matter. Visit local farms or communities. Ask questions. Learn. Research long-term rentals or affordable land options outside your city, even abroad.
nShadow Work: Facing the fear of “stepping out of the system”. Letting go of the image of “success” society sold you. Managing financial unpredictability while building a slower life.

The Deep Domestic Life
nCore values: Nurturing, creativity, rhythm, family.
nStarter Steps: Reduce work hours if possible, even just one day to be fully immersed in home energy. Create seasonal rhythms at home; baking, crafting, nature walks, shared meals.
nSell baked goods at a farmer’s market or online (tiny “homegrown” business?).
nStart a blog or Instagram project documenting your soulful homemaking journey.
nShadow Work: Reclaiming the sacredness of domestic life in a world that undervalues it.
nResisting internalised shame about “not being productive enough” and dealing with the possible judgment of others (and yourself).

The Purpose-Driven Micro Business
nCore values: Autonomy, creativity, meaningful contribution.
nStarter Steps: Identify skills/passions you could offer; writing, baking, wellness, nature crafts, storytelling, coaching? Start one low-pressure test project. Sell one offering. Make £10 doing something soulful. That’s a portal. Set up a free website or online store with minimal cost (Canva, Ko-fi, Substack, Etsy, etc). Talk to others doing the same, ask how they started.
nShadow Work: Confronting imposter syndrome (“who am I to do this?”). Moving from dreaming to executing (taking messy action). Navigating financial risk AND building resilience.

The Hybrid “Bridge” Life
nCore values: Transition, stability, experimentation. This is the path of gradual transition, creating a bridge between now and what’s next. You start with a flexible part of life (location, income, education) and slowly build your new foundation, without cutting the rope too early.
nStarter Steps: Reduce work hours slightly (if doable) and fill that time with intentional family or creative time. Keep renting, but experiment with living in a different location short-term (house-sitting, sabbatical swap, rural retreat). Design a 6-month “trial” lifestyle: e.g., unschooling two days a week, market-gardening as a hobby, part-time freelance work. View your current life as a launch pad, not a cage.
nShadow Work: Letting go of the need for a complete answer right away. Embracing a liminal identity (“not quite this, not quite that”). Learning to live in creative tension while trust builds.

Your life doesn’t need to be louder, shinier, or more productive. It just needs to be truer. The deepest rebellion is to live in alignment with your heart in a world that benefits when you don’t. You don’t need a revolution. You need a return. To yourself. To rhythm. To presence. To love.

Listening in on Those Soul Callings

So a new theme could be, listening inward, anchoring new rhythms, beginning to slow down, observe, and gently deprogram. Make space for listening (to yourself, your environment, your needs etc) and lay some gentle groundwork for lifestyle changes.

Your actions could be just creating daily or weekly rituals for yourself, such as creating sacred “presence pauses”, or tea with no phone, baking with music, journaling in silence, barefoot on the grass. It doesn’t always need to be the same either, it could really be however you’re feeling that day. Don’t make it difficult or unsustainable or you won’t stick to it and then you’ll feel like crap. Don’t make yourself the reason you feel like crap.

Some Journaling prompts (sorry I just love them) might look like:
nWhat does “home” feel like to me?
nWhat are the moments that make me feel most alive?
nWhere am I still performing, rather than being?

Track what brings you energy vs. what drains it (people, tasks, routines, digital habits) and identify 1–2 things you’re ready to gently release. Start the pivot with tiny but powerful changes, let your subconscious mind know, “we are doing this, we’re actually doing this” – play with pace. Play with presence. What do your ideal weeks look like when they align with your values? Start to live the future in the now. Make life feel like it’s already begun to change, and it really will.

See how you feel when living “differently”. After a little while, maybe a few weeks or so you could journal how it felt; What worked? What didn’t? What lit you up?

Personally what has really worked for me too, is to declutter (energetically + physically); Let go of stuff, not just objects, but commitments, roles, expectations. Lighten the load. I promise, this feels SO juicy.

Shadow Work Journaling

You can skip past this bit if you like, but always come back to it if you feel that the following questions could benefit you.

What am I afraid will happen if I actually let life feel easy or joyful?
Whose voice is in my head when I doubt my dreams?
Where am I still waiting for permission?

If you follow this loosely, by the end of 6 months you’ll likely know what kind of life feels right, be living more slowly and intentionally already, have some clarity about where you want to be, rhythm, and income options, and have begun a practical, grounded rewilding of your life!

You don’t have to find the answer. You just need to keep following the feeling. That grounded, expansive, yes-this-is-it sensation when you’re near something real. And remember: a quiet life is not a small life. It’s a powerful rebellion. A sacred remembering.

I’m terrified to be honest. I don’t know how much time I have left on this earth as this cool human being, in this awesome body I have, and I really don’t want to miss it, to miss my life and the experience of being human. I want to FEEL everything. I’m just always in my own head with all of my human limitations! But that’s the whole point, not to figure it all out at once. Just to be here for it. To be alive, to feel it all, to not miss the miracle hiding in the mess.

Fear means you’re close to something real. Let it walk with you, but not lead. Let your mind soften and trust that something has shifted and you don’t need to push it now. You’re already in motion. Already becoming.

Until next time.

“Happiness is not about getting all you want, it is about enjoying all you have” – Unknown

“It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol” – Brene Brown